SUDIRMAN 12190

Sudirman today: It was Saturday. The show would not start till 8 p.m. Unlike the other years where they would stage the show at Kautaman, they were staging their performance at Hotel Mulia. There would be more or less 1000 people? They were told to be there at 6 p.m. but it was only 4 p.m. now and Natalia Batubara was at Theresia Church in Menteng. She was there to find calmness and peace. 

A friend once told her: “Sometimes, you need to get lost to find yourself.” Well not a friend, but that Australian kid in the Walkabout commercial. And right now she was lost. And she was trying to find herself. She was preparing herself for the play. She was immersed in thought, trying to remember the lines. Aside from her, and like three other people who were already there praying and the choir who were practicing, it felt so spacious. The church was like a castle. And she owned it at that moment. Princesses needed her castles right? And she was in it. She was sitting on the front row looking at the altar. She was halfway through her lines when her eyes fell on the statue of Jesus on the cross. 

He looked like he was hurting. Real bad. 

But Na imagined if he hurt as much she did when Joshua bailed on her at the debutante ball. Na let out a sigh. He must’ve hurt more she thought those nails on his body were not just metal nails. They were nails of the thousands and thousands of people who requested him to be crucified. The nails pinned on her were only from Joshua Tanuwijaya. One nail against a thousand. Na couldn’t bear the pain. She imagined thousands of Joshua then and there so she stood up and headed for the church doors. 

But, as she turned around to head for the door, Joshua was standing there. Looking more wasted than he ever did. Na thought he looked pathetic, but that’s what made him look hot. The choir began to practice on of their songs.

And I 
Never thought I’d feel this way
And as far as I’m concerned I’m glad I got the chance to say
That I do believe I love you

“Oh my God,” said Na lazily. “This must be a fucking dream.” But Joshua just walked closer to her.

“Na please just listen to what I have to say…”

And if I should ever go away
Well then close your eyes and try to feel the way we do today
And than if you can’t remember…..

“No,” replied Na blandly. She turned course and headed out of the double doors on the left side of the church. “Na please wait,” Joshua said from behind her. He followed her from behind. She walked faster and soon the two were in the side parking lot of the church. He grabbed her hand from behind her. “Na please listen. Just give me a couple of minutes.” Na looked back at him. “Fine, you have my attention. What do you want to tell me Joshua?”

Keep smilin’
Keep shinin’
Knowin’ you can always count on me 
for sure
that’s what friends are for
In good times
And bad times
I’ll be on your side forever more
That’s what friends are for

“I want to tell you why I bailed on you at the ball,” he replied. Na didn’t know what to say. “I’m sorry I left without telling you but I was foolish. I didn’t know how to face you. You were nothing but nice to me Na and I feel that it was unfair that I left you and bailed on you without an explanation. I’m very very sor-”

“Can you please just get to the fucking point Joshua,” replied Na. He was getting on her nerves.

Well you came and open me
And now there’s so much more I see
And so by the way I thank you….

“I-I…I bailed on you at the ball because…” He paused. “Because the night before, I had sex with Shiela and didn’t know how to face you. I’m very sorry Na. I thought it would be best for both of us if I left. But I felt very guilty for not telling you why I bailed. Na, I’m very sorry. Please, Na, forgive me. I hope we can still be friends Na. I don’t want to lose you. Friends?”

Ohhh and then 
For the times when we’re apart
Well just close your eyes and know
These words are comming from my heart
And then if you can’t remember….Ohhhhh

Na shook her head. “I’m sorry Joshua. I don’t think I can ever be your friend again. After everything that you’ve done to me. I counted on you to show up. I was sure that you’re going to show up. So sure that I humiliated myself Josh. I humiliated myself. And we were in a boyfriend girlfriend relationship when you made me humiliate myself. As friends, do you think I still can count on you? I stuck with you through the bad times, the fun times but I was still never enough was I? You had to go after my best friend too?” Joshua tried to cut her. “No Josh. I know you’re going to say that she approached you. Yes she did. But you didn’t love me enough to withstand her approach. You were not by my side as my boyfriend so I don’t think there is a chance you’ll be by my side as just a friend. And let’s keep it at that. Let’s not do anymore stupid things.”

Keep smilin’
Keep shinin’
Knowin’ you can always count on me 
for sure
that’s what friends are for
In good times
And bad times
I’ll be on your side forever more
That’s what friends are for

“I have a performance soon,” Na said to end their conversation. “So I guess I’ll be on my way.” Na walked away.

“Na,” Joshua called. Na turned around. “I’m sorry.”

“Yeah,” Na said. “You should be.” She turned around again and was on her way.

Later: Na was on her way to the hotel. She picked her phone and dialed a friend. After a few beeps that friend answered. “Hey Sharaz, I need help with some photos that I want you to edit.”

“What photos Na?”

“I’ll send it to your email with the details and stuff. I’m sure it’ll be a fun task,” Na said.

“What does it involve?” Sharaz asked.

“Steamy male nudity and my head cropped on the photo to cover the dick. I just sent it dear. Enjoy!”

“Will do,” replied Sharaz happily.

Stop being a dickhead,
Why are you being a dickhead for
You’re just fucking up situations
Why are you being a dickhead for
Stop being a dickhead,
Why you being a dickhead for
You’re just fucking up situations

Why are you being a dickhead for
Stop being a dickhead
Why you being a dickhead for
You’re just fucking up situations

Songs used:

That’s What Friends Are For -Stevie Wonder
Dickhead -Kate Nash

Sudirman today: Na entered the garden of the church in Menteng. She sat down in the benches put in front of the statue of Mother Mary. Looked at it. It looked right through her. She wonder what it felt like being her. Never having sex. This woman really inspired the Juno’s of the world. In a more holy and purposeful way. Then a breeze rushed and blew Na’s hair in the wind. Na felt the breeze. It was calming. She wondered if she could just live here in the Church complex and never have to worry about not showing up at Celebrity Fitness in the latest Nike shoes, university, school, parties… How calming it would be she thought. But just not this church. To many people will spot her. But she was here to meet someone. And not think about a life as a nun. “Good to see you again Na,” says a man coming from behind her. Na was waiting for him. He sat down next to her. Na leaned her head on his shoulders. “What’s wrong this time Natalia?”

Na sighs. “Joshua Tanuwijaya, my boyfriend.”

“The guy who bailed on you at the debutante ball?” asks the priest.

“Yes father,” Na replies. She sighs again. “He never came back. As you might already heard. Or not cause he’s a Protestant. But,” Na begins. She sighs one more time and looks at the priest in the eye. “But he wants to meet me this summer Father Nico. He…he want’s to privately talk to me and I just can’t wait another month for that time to come. I want to know why fuck (oh I’m so sorry) he left. I… I… I have a play coming up father. I have the Spring Play where I have a significant part and I have exams too. I- I just can’t get my mind off Joshua to really focus on these two things… It’s frustrating but I- I don’t know father. How should I focus on the play and the finals with this Joshua thing. I’m going to Bali for the summer and he has a tournament there. He wants me to meet him there.”

“Na… Joshua has a very good reason to tell you why he bailed. It must have taken something very very significant for him to leave like that. But he did not tell you. He just left. He was the one who wronged you Natalia darling,” the father tells her. He puts a hand on her shoulders. “He wronged you. And you agreeing to meet him is partly forgiveness in the works. So you’re right and he’s wrong. Yes, I know, waiting in patience might not be one of your strongest fortes. But he is the one who should be anxious to tell you his reason. Not you. In fact, if he really was sorry and he really wanted to justify his bail on you, he should be here, now, to tell you instead of keeping you waiting.” Na nods her head.

“Well…I think you’re right. Yeah, he should be the one coming here to tell me actually. Thanks father,” Na says as she gets up from the bench.

“Anytime Nat,” he replies.

Later that night: “So,” G asks his sister Georgi. “What part did you get?” The two were eating dinner at Oyster Plaza Senayan. G had just finished a business meeting and his car and driver went to pick up Georgi at school so G decided they have dinner together. “I got the part of Chihiro in the play Spirited Away by Hayao Miyazaki. And why is your name on the script?” asks Georgi confused. “Don’t tell me you wrote it?” she continues after another bite of her oyster topped with melted cheese.

“Yes I did Georgi,” G replies. “So, which Chihiro did you get? The one who only shows up in the very beginning and the very end or the Chihiro in the spirit world who is practically in every scene?”

“I got the spirit world one. Guess who got the Chihiro in the human world?” asks Georgi with a slightly irritated tone in her voice. “Oh…know what? Mikki Saunders got the part. Which Mikki? The Mikki that sang with Mark Ronson dj-ing. Guess what? Now she’s gonna show up in the beginning and in the end of the play. So I’m fucked. Everyone’s first impression will be on her and what if she does a really great Chihiro for the first five minutes of the play and then I show up and people start leaving the theater?” Georgi drops the oyster meat on her shirt. “Mother fucker.”

“Well them leaving five minutes into the play will be highly impossible since they’ll be paying 200,000 per ticket,” G replies. “And I’m sure that you’ll steal the show. I mean, you’re singing almost all the songs while she has only like one song in the beginning…”

“And guess what? She’s saying the last sentence of the finale song when Chihiro finally goes home from the spirit world. That’s the like cherry on top of the whole fucking sundae that I’m gonna eat and get fat from,” Georgi tells her brother. “And Mikki will perform at the Chanel Private Party the night before the show so everyone at the Chanel Private Party who’ll watch the play the next day (which I’m sure will be almost everyone-except the celebrities) will be waiting to watch her and not me. I mean, if Mikki got the part of Rin the sidekick, I’ll be fine but she gets to play the same part I’m playing only for a shorter time. I’m so pissed, defeated and pissed and defeated. So fuck her, fuck the play, fuck everyone. Oh my God……why did she have to get that part. I mean, her getting that part is like a step away from her getting my part.”

G shakes his head. “Here, let me tell you the real reason why she got the part. Her father is the ambassador of the United Kingdom. If he comes, then the ambassador of Spain, Portugal, France, Germany and Italy might come because I heard they’re really tight, so I heard. And this Mikki girl loves theater. She loves it to death. So it was necessary to have her given a significant part. Though only five minutes, I heard they’re giving her the Solo.”

Georgi drops her spoon.

“What? The Solo? I thought the Solo was mine? I thought that Ruben Studdard song in the finale was mine? The one where she only sings the last sentence?” Georgi asks worriedly. 

G shakes his head. “They’re adding another song. For Mikki. The song will come after your solo finale song. I heard after that the ‘Celebrate Me Home’ song in the end where all the cast sing for the last chorus, they’re closing the curtain and adding Aly and AJ’s song ‘Like Whoa’ with a whole new set. They told me its a more upbeat contemporary song to end the play with. To sum up Chihiro’s whole experience at the Spirit World they chose a song titled Like Whoa. So it should match the play.” Georgi was bewildered.

“I-I need to go to the bathroom…” Georgi left the table and as she walked to the bathroom, on the fourth floor of the parking building of Plaza Senayan, she saw Dania Simanjuntak, her best friend and Mikki Saunders laughing as they were about to go down the escalator. They spotted her looking at them. They stopped walking as they were a few steps from the escalator. Georgi’s face saddened and with a disappointed face immediately ran for the bathroom. “Wait here,” Dania said to Mikki.

“No,” Mikki said. “I’ll go,” she continued. “Wait for me at Sushi Tei.” Mikki walked fast toward the bathroom and Dania went down the escalator. Mikki then reached the bathroom and opened the door. There was no one except for Georgi who was on the floor sitting down with her back on the marble wall of the toilet. “WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT?! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE?!” shouted Georgi.

Mikki was stunned.

“What is your problem with me?” Mikki said in the middle of the bathroom looking at her. “Look Georgi, if you have a problem with me you should tell me right now. And for your information, I have been nothing but nice to you and this is how you treat me.”

“I DON’T TREAT YOU LIKE ANYTHING! YOU’RE THE ONE MAKING ME TREATING MYSELF LIKE THIS! YOU THINK THAT I LIKE MISTREATING YOU?! YOU THINK THAT I LIKE HATING YOU?! NO MIKKI!” shouted Georgi. She got off the floor and began to shout some more. “I WANT YOU TO BE MY FRIEND! I WANT YOU TO BE MY GODDAMN FUCKING BEST FRIEND! BUT I ALWAYS FEEL SO DEFEATED WHEN I’M WITH YOU MIKKI! I YEARN TO BE YOUR FRIEND!” Georgi took a moment to breathe. “I YEARN FOR US TO SING TOGETHER WHEN NO ONE’S WATCHING! I WANT US TO BE BFFS AND HAVE A SLEEP OVERS WHERE WE MAKE VIDEOS OF US SINGING FUCKING DEMI LOVATO TOGETHER BUT I JUST CAN’T STAND IT! I CAN’T STAND FEELING DEFEATED AROUND YOU!” Georgi walked closer to her. “And if I become your friend and we start doing things together, I’ll just be lying to myself. You and I are competition. I can’t lie to myself. I can’t be your best friend. Because then there’ll be this Georgi inside of me dying to shout and scream at you. A Georgi that will want to rip your heart out when you get chosen to sing at a school event or what not….” Georgi scrunched her hair. She slammed her hands on the marble wall. “SO I JUST CAN’T STAND YOU! WHY THE FUCK DID YOU EVER HAVE TO COME?!” Georgi looked at her to find an answer.

“Well you know what Georgi,” Mikki said to her ear. Mikki had moved closer to her and was now centimeters away. “I’m not going anywhere. So you’ll just have to deal with all the singing parts I’m going to get. Like that solo in the end of your play? I bet you’ve heard of it…or not. But one thing is for sure.

“I’m going to steal the show from you. And make you suffer, like you’ve never suffered before. Watch out bitch, Mikki’s in town.”

Mikki walks out of the bathroom.

Oh my god 
Did you hear (yeah) 
About that bitch 
And what she did? 
I don’t believe it 
Aw, aw 
What a ho 
What a tramp 
What a slut 

The trash washes up to shore 
Even in this landlocked place 
The shit gets thicker 
It’s toxic 
Get it out my face 
And don’t be surprised 
If they don’t buy your lies 
Some of us can see through 
Your stained glass eyes

Song used:

Tilly and the Wall -Pot Kettle Black

Sudirman a few years ago: In the life of the kids part of the Debutante Party, they will spend their last year of high school wondering about which college or Ivy League university they will attend (University of Southern California is the most basic selection while for some, Parsons the New School of Design is simply out of the question) and come spring, they will leave the country and come back 3-4 years later adults brainwashed of all the lies and stabs they experienced in high school. Remember, the kids of the Debutante Party are not merely rich kids or semi-rich Chinese kids who’ll end up studying in Australia but the Debutante Party consists of the really, really rich kids with connections as thick as the Yellow Pages (and not Karl Marx’s 23 page pamphlet).

But tonight is the night when teenagers take their first leap into society, spend their final school year or two choosing universities and prance around the social circuit until the time comes for them to leave the country (again Europe or America and not Australia) and come back adults. Everyone is dressed to the nines tonight and mingling with one another while the boys and girls part of the event are kept in separate rooms away from one another. As all mayhem is on the loose in the girls room, the boys prepare in total peace and calm but with a tad bit of confusion. Finally when ready, the girls and boys are lined up on the stairs. On the left side are the girls and on the right side stand the boys. One by one, they will be called and both boy and girl will go down. But first, once dressed, Na approached Sushila (who was also dressed already). “Shiel, can I speak with you outside?” Sushila nods and the two step outside the changing room which was really only a hotel suite.

“What’s up Na?” asks Shiela.

Na gulps. “I don’t know how to say this to you but you’re my best friend. I’d do anything for you and I’m sure that you’d do anything for me,” Na begins. “I-I made this like pact with Joshua when I found out that you kissed him last year. We don’t talk, we don’t communicate, nothing. If we go down together at this ball, despite anything, then he’ll prove to me that he still loves me. I know, I know, that he’s partnered with you and if you don’t go down with him the whole society will be disappointed with you but I really need this Shiela. I talked with Ezra and he said he’ll be okay if I go down with Josh and he goes down with you. I don’t know what favor I’m asking from you but I just want your approval…”

Shiela looks at Na. “I’m sorry, very sorry to say this Na but…but what if he doesn’t go down with you? What if Joshua doesn’t go down with you?”

“That’s impossible. We love each other.”

“Na…I heard from the other girls that he isn’t even here yet when Justin and Jason are already in the boys changing room.”

Bewildered, Na said, “What?”

“Josh isn’t here Na. I think he’s bailed out on you…”

“No…No…” Na begin to run towards the boys changing room with was on the other end of the hotel. She was holding the train of her Betsey Johnson dress in both hands while she held her flower bouquet in one of her hands as well. Some petals dropped as she ran. But she didn’t care. The fear of losing Joshua, she runs even faster for the boy’s changing room. Once there, she knocks loudly on the door and anxiously, she tapped her feet. Fortunately, Jason opened the door. “Where is Joshua?” Na said as tears were welling up. “Where the fuck is he?”

“I’m sorry Na, I don’t know,” replies Jason light-heartedly.

“What the fuck do you mean by I don’t know? Of course you know where he is Jason… The three of you have the most fucking common name Chinese-Indonesian parents give their children. You’re like the Chindo Brethren. How come you don’t know?” Beep. Beep. Jason looks at his Blackberry and points his pointing finger upright in front of Na as a signal asking her to wait.

Jason began to speak in a softer voice, “Listen, Josh would kill me if I told you this but you’re the fucking best girl he’s ever been with (despite your religion and his). You need to run down now to the driveway in front of the main lobby (not the ballroom lobby). Now. Go Na!” And so, Na begins to run towards the elevator just in time for someone to step out of it and for her to step into it. Once she reached the floor, the elevator door opens, and she runs out. She was in the hall in front of the ballroom and found the stairs that went up to the hotels main lobby.

Gasping for breath, she saw Joshua in a tux running up the stairs. Na ran towards that direction but after a few steps a lady from the committee familiar with Na shouted. “Natalie! We’re starting in five minutes! Where are you going?!” Na looked at the lady. Then looked back up the stairs. “But Joshua just went up the stairs!”

“He cancelled,” the lady began. “He declined his attendance just now.”

Na, without another word runs up the stairs leaving the lady behind her calling for her. Finally the calling stopped as Na reached the last step. She saw not far from where she was a black Mercedes on the driveway. A driver steps out and opens the door to the car. Joshua steps out of the glass doors of the lobby. Natalia runs and as Joshua puts his feet into the car, she slams the bouquet on his back.

Everyone, the doorman, the driver, the people getting on and off cars, people sitting in the lobby and the reception desk people together with the security force were all staring at the flowers scrambling all over the scene. Na took another hit at Joshua after he turned around to see who it was. Then, seeing who it was, his face was shocked. An angry, sweaty Na shouted.

“YOU LEFT! I AM HUMILIATED!”

Natalia was gasping for breath… She looked Joshua in the eye. Joshua looked at her in the eye. He had nothing to say. Na was still gasping for breath. Tears started to roll down her cheeks. Make-up clad tears stained her shimmering face and begin to drip on her velvet dress…

Then Joshua stepped in the car.

Closed the door.

And left.

He walks away, 
The sun goes down, 
He takes the day but I’m grown, 
And it’s OK, 
In this blue shade, 
My tears dry on their own, 

He walks away, 
The sun goes down, 
He takes the day but I’m grown, 
And it’s OK, 
My deep shade, 
My tears dry

Joshua Tanuwijaya then left and was never heard of again. Jason and Justin claimed that he was pursuing a better tennis career in a boarding school at an English countryside. But then he was never talked about again. Not in front of Na. The buzz of his leaving and the scene at the driveway of Hotel Mulia died a week later.

Sudirman today: Na was playing Rin, Chihiro’s somewhat bigger sister at the bathhouse after Chihiro’s unfortunate stumbling into the spirit world and began working for the witch Yubaba as she waited to free her parents (whom have been turned into pigs) with help from Haku. It was another rehearsal and the adrenaline was high. Everyone was in the zone. The scene rehearsed now was Chihiro begging a job from Kamaji, the man who runs the hot waters in the bathhouse and make sure the right combination of herbs are correct for certain guests at the bathhouse. Na was backstage, waiting for her turn to enter. She was to bring Kamaji’s dinner and then ordered by Kamaji to take Chihiro to Yubaba. In Na’s hand was a tray with fake food on a plastic plate borrowed from a Japanese restaurant at Kamome to become a prop. Then Na’s romper began to vibrate. It was her phone. She opened it and found it was a new message from an unknown number.

Na, I’ll be in Bali for a tournament this summer. If maybe you’re going there with the rest of the guys, like we usually do, I’d like us to meet and talk. Privately. Sincerely yours, Joshua.

Songs used:

Amy Winehouse -Tears Dry on Their Own

Sudirman after last years Christmas: Na was sitting on her L-shaped sofa watching Ugly Betty. Then G enters the TV room and turns off the television. “Hey! I was watching that!” Na shouts at him. In one of G’s hand were three infra boards and on the other a huge Starbucks paper bag. He places in on the coffee table in front of her. “Do you have what I ordered?” she asks.

“I always have what everyone orders,” G replies. “I’ve got you two Green Tea Frapucinno in Venti and a Caramel Java Chip beverage for myself. I bought you five waffles in plain and another five with the chocolate coating. Three quiches, and I want you to share me or else you’ll get fat. And last but not least the soda lollipops. Aside from that, I dropped of at XSML just now and saw that they were having this Anniversary Sale and everything was 50% so I bought everything they had in your size and my size. My God, were the clothes beautiful.” G takes out the Green Tea drinks and hands them over to her. “What are on the infra boards?” Na asks. “One of your more ridicule ideas?”

G laughs. He picks them up from the coffee table. “You don’t seem to be so sad anymore about what just happened between Shiela and your boyfriend Joshua. It’s either that or you’re eating your heart away with all these Starbucks fat. So, I prepared on three infra boards options that you can take to deal with this shit. I thought that would be necessary because the debutante ball is in two months and you wouldn’t want to fight with Shiela on that day and make a fool of yourself.” He opens up one board. “Option one: We go to her Church on Sunday mass and tell everyone that she kissed your boyfriend without your consent. They wouldn’t need proof because I’ll be saying it and everyone trusts what I say because I’m such an angel and Sushila is less of an angel. After she got caught drinking in the Church toilet by her grandmother. Option two: You pretend like nothing happened so you don’t have to jeopardize your relationship with Sushila and Joshua although you’ll all feel awkward. Oh wait, let’s not do option two.” G throws the option two board on the floor.

“The last option: we go have lunch and talk about it like grown-ups and make them pay for it. But we eat somewhere expensive. Since I heard what happened, I feel obliged to be there and since Sushila is not denying it, I think that it would be okay if I attend. I mean to protect you,” G says with a sly smile. Na laughs. “I think we’ll do that option. I’ll text them now. But I don’t want you there. It will be awkward. I’ll go have lunch with Shiela first then I’ll meet Joshua somewhere else though. I don’t want them to draw back anything they’d like to say because both of them are there,” she tells G. “Where do you think I should eat?”

“Uhhh, I suppose since I’m not there you might as well eat in Sederhana Benhil,” G tells her. Na gives him a piercing look. “Okay fine, you could go to….hmmm…..Cilantro. Wisma BNI 46 on the 46th floor. You’ll be able to talk there I’m sure. And if anything goes wrong you can ask the waiter to chuck either Sushila or Joshua of the building and let them fall off a 46 story building for all I care. But seriously, go eat there. Eat dim sum and drink hot tea. It’ll calm your nerves.” Na smiles and picks up her phone and begins to text.

A few hours later: “Are we going to work this out Josh?” asks Na. “I really don’t want to lose you.”

“Me either. I don’t want all the years we’ve been going out to go to waste. And I am terribly sorry for what happened between Sushila and me. We were foolish and we got caught up by temptation. We didn’t really mean to end up kissing each other. And I promise you, kissing was all that we did,” Joshua tells her. He holds her hand. They were sitting face to face. “I promise that it would never happen again. I promise. I swear my life on this Na.” Na looks down to her food. “But Josh,” says Na. “I-I can’t be sure and trust you enough that you wouldn’t do this to me again. Josh, for heavens sake, you kissed my best friend.” She looks back at him. “I can see it in your eyes that you regret it,” she continues, “but do you still love me enough to make sure that something like that will never happen again?”

“I do Nat, I do,” he says sincerely. Then the two fall silent. “Nat, please say some-”

“I know what we can do Joshua,” Na tells him. “February 14 is the day of our Debutante Ball. Consider this a break for us. Let’s not talk to each other until then and try our best not to get involved with each other and think about this individually. We cut all contacts from each other and we’ll be on a plain and simple break. We don’t meet with each other, we don’t talk at school, at the dance rehearsals, we don’t talk online or anywhere. At the briefing but we make sure that we are paired with one another for the ball. That is step one. Then, on the day of the event, I will wait for you on the stairs and if you are there on the other side of the stairs waiting for me to go down the stairs into society, then that’ll answer everything. If we go down together side by side, then, we’ll be back together and I can trust you…I can trust that you can still love me and our years we’ve spent together won’t go to waste.”

“Okay, I’ll be there.”

A few months later: We’re back again to when Na first discovered that Joshua Tanuwijaya was paired with Sushila Soemarsono for the debutante ball. They were given slips to fill in their partner preference. Joshua wrote Sushila as his first preference. And Na found out. On this day, as she slouched on the bench in front of the Namarina Dance Studio, crying, she was thinking of all the things. She just broke the pact she and Joshua made by screaming at him previously. Joshua doesn’t want to go with her to the debutante ball. Her sister Belle, was nowhere to be seen… Her life was crashing down… Everyone had left the dance studio and left her behind there. No one sat next to her to help her and talk to her. They just left. All of them.

Then Na heard someone go out from the Dance Studio. She looked to see who it was. Sudira Soemarsono. “Hey Na, what are you still doing here?” Sudira asks her.

“What are you still doing here Dir?” asks Na. Sudira laughs. “I practiced some more dancing, individually,” Dira says. She takes a seat beside Natalia. “Look, if it helps,” Dira continues, “I can tell you why Joshua did what he did. Okay, so…….here it comes. You’re Moslem, I’m Catholic and Joshua is Christian. My family have been friends with Joshua’s moms family for a long time and our mothers have planned them going to the debutante ball together for a long time. Worse comes to worse, they go with other people. That happened, sucks to them Na, but everyone attending the ball are their family friend and they’d hate to see like Joshua going…you know…with someone who’s not Christian…”

Na laughs with a crying voice in her sound. “But we’re just 16 and 17! It’s not like we’re getting married!” Dira laughs together with her and tells her, “I know I know, I get it but like, my grandparents-who’ll be there-and his grandparents-who’ll be there too-don’t get it. Like, Sushila screamed about this over and over when our mother brought up this thing at home. My mom suddenly brought it up yesterday on the way to school and then Sushila was like screaming, ‘MOM! I don’t want to talk about it!’ It happens all the time, and don’t get me wrong, my mom loves you Na but she just wants Sushila to go with one of the Tanuwijaya brothers. Justin is taken, Jason is taken as well and there’s only Joshua left. And guess what, my mom doesn’t like this new guy Sushila is dating. You won’t believe how much they’ve fought about it-my mom and Sushila.” Na laughs. “Seriously! Sushila suggested to my mother once that she’d like to go with him and they fought about it for the next two hours and we were at Senci so you can imagine how embarrassing it was!”

“My God, I can’t believe that. Sushila doesn’t tell me anything anymore,” Na says to Dira.

“So there’s nothing you should really cry about Na. I know, I know that Josh and Shiela were caught kissing once at last years Christmas Dinner but I promise you that Shiela has forgotten all about it now that she has her new boyfriend. She even forgets to take me to school with her when her boyfriend picks her up at home,” Dira tells Na with a laugh. “So you shouldn’t feel bad about it. If he loves you Na, he’ll be there tomorrow. Not with Shiela. But with you.”

“Thanks Dira…you really know how to cheer people up.”

“Na, sleep a good sleep tonight. He’ll be there.”

That night: Joshua walked into his room after he brushed his teeth and a late night shower. He opened the door and found Sushila sitting on the edge of his bed. “Sushila? What are you doing here?”

“Your maid let me in the house and then your mother let me in your room.” Sushila then stood up and walked over to him. “I want to tell you something,” she tells him as she walks closer to him. Joshua was a few steps from the door that he just entered from and Sushila was walking toward him. She put a hand on his chest when she was a step away from him. She whispers in his ears. “I love you…” 

She withdraws and looks at him. “But you-you have a boyfriend…and-and I-I have…”

“Who do you have Joshua? Na? If you had her then you wouldn’t have written her as your preference to be partnered with for the ball,” says Shiela. “I love you Joshua and I know…I know that you love me… You love me Joshua… You can’t get enough of me… At parties you always sit next to me, and talk to me. At school events you always make sure that I’m with you. You always invite me to wherever you’re going. You’re always chatting with me, texting me. It’s everywhere Josh. Don’t deny it. You love me.” And like that, Shiela moved closer and closer to him. And when they were only centimeters away from one another, breathing into each others face, Joshua’s back was stuck to the door, they did something they weren’t supposed to do. 

They kissed.

Cause you’re hot and you’re cold
You’re yes then you’re no
You’re in then you’re out
You’re up then you’re down
You’re wrong when it’s right
It’s black and it’s white
We fight we break up
We kiss we make up

Cause you’re hot and you’re cold
You’re yes then you’re no
You’re in then you’re out
You’re up then you’re down

Song used:

Hot & Cold -Katy Perry

Sudirman a few years ago: “WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?” shouted Natalia when the Jakarta Debutante Committee announced the partners walking down the stairs that would present them to the society of Jakarta. “Is there a problem Natalia?” asked the lady who announced the names. They had just finished rehearsing their waltz and we’re all on the floor gasping for breath. Na stood up. “Joshua can’t go with Sushila. I wrote on my slip just now that I’d prefer to be partnered with Joshua Tanuwijaya,” she says from across the room. The old lady looked back at her paper after putting on her reading glasses. She flipped to another page and read, “Well, I received a phone call, two phone calls actually, requesting that Joshua Tanuwijaya be paired with Sushila Soemarsono. And in fact, I must mention that Joshua Tanuwijaya’s preference on his slip dictates that he prefers to be paired with Sushila Soemarsono. I guess if you have any more questions, you may take it up with the chairwoman of the committee for she was the one who approved of this list. Sadly, she just left a few minutes ago. Thank you.” Then the woman steps out of the room through the door. Once out, whispers rampaged through the room and Natalia stood there bewildered. Her palms were gripped tight and were sweating. She turned her look towards Joshua Tanuwijaya, who was on the floor sitting beside Sushila Soemarsono, his dance partner. Everyone in the room looked at Natalia stare at Joshua with rage and anger.

“How could you Josh?” Natalia tells him. She walks across the room and when a few feet from the door, she saw Joshua getting up ready to catch up on her. “DON’T! Do not- Don’t try to follow me Joshua!” And like that, Natalia leaves the room shutting the door behind her. Natalia leans on the door and with tears running down her face, slugs down onto the bench.

Christmas a few years ago (before the debutante ball practice): It was a nice house in the Hang Tuah area and all the ritziest people were at the event. Ritzy Christian and Catholic people that is. It was at the Soemarsono house and all the usual (Christian and Catholic) suspects were there. G, Georgi, Sushila, Sudira and the Tanuwijaya clan together with some other rich kids found prancing the 12190 zip code. It was almost dinner time and G, as his usual ass-kissing self, was wrapped in a conversation with the Soemarsono mom. Every parent loved G for his charisma and sophistication when in conversation with him. And he loved to be in the good light of every parent he could find in his way. “Auntie Audrey! Hello!” says G as he walks over to her. He then hugs her. “How are you Auntie? Oh my, we haven’t met in so long…hahaha…you look amazing!”

“Thank you G. It’s always a pleasure to have you at gatherings like this. You always bring cheer and happiness to everyone,” says Audrey Soemarsono. She smiles and then moves closer to G and says, “But, do you have what I ordered from you G?” G looks at her with a smile and tells her, “Oh course I do Auntie Audrey! Don’t worry about it. How could I forget such an order…and from Auntie Audrey. It would be rude if I didn’t remember your order. So, I have very great news to add as well. I got you that Marcello Cartier bag you ordered and if you don’t mind, a friend of mine who styles Lipstick Jungle offered me to upgrade it. I asked what she would do to it and then I thought that it would be perfect for you Auntie. So wait and see. And then, I got a discount for the Castelbajac dress that you wanted because my friend is a PR there. And boy was it a large discount, so I’ll be sure to return back the money-” Auntie Audrey laughed. “There’s no need for that darling. You can keep the money. But did you get the light bulb shoe?”

G looks a little bit weary. “Oh yeah…I called my friend at Chanel USA but they said that they ran out of the light bulb shoe so instead they gave me the shot gun shoe for half the price. Although I’m still waiting for an answer from my friend because they said that they would first look at the storage in Paris and if they do, they’ll send it over.” Auntie Audrey smiles at him and tells him, “Oh G, you work wonders. Thank you so much. But never tell anyone how I got my Marcello bag revamped okay. Anyway dear, can you go to Sushila’s room and ask her to come down. It’s almost dinner time and she said she’ll be back in five but it’s already 15 minutes and she hasn’t come back down. Could you please check on her?” G nods. “Sure Auntie. Never mind.” G then walks away and heads up the stairs and made turns leading to Sushila’s room. G crept slowly across the hallway filled with nothing but doors and reaches the door of Sushila’s bedroom. He hears faint voices coming from within the room. Moans were heard from within. And then he heard, “Kiss me Joshua…kiss me…”

Immediately, G rips out his phone from his pocket and began to dial Na’s number. As he waits, G knocks on the door to Sushila’s room and immediately goes back down the stairs. He steps into the kitchen area where the maids are preparing the dinner. Only then did Na answer her phone. “Oh my God Na…I just caught Joshua and Sushila making out with each other in her room.”

“What?” Na asks.

“I’m sorry but I was asked by Auntie Audrey to call her down because dinner is about to begin…I’m at that Christmas dinner thing at the twins house…and when I reached her door I heard her moaning and saying things like ‘Kiss me Joshua…’ Please, please believe me…” says G.

“Are you sure? Are you sure that it was Sushila? It could’ve been Sudira or something…”

G tells her, “No Nat…Sudira was talking to my dad when I went upstairs. It’s not here. It’s Sushila. And if it wasn’t your Joshua it couldn’t have been because there isn’t another Joshua at this party.” G walks around the kitchen area and heads out to the open street. “Na, na, please answer me,” he says after a long pause. “Na, come on. Answer me…”

“SHUT UP! Shut up! Shut up! Oh my God, you fuck I’m thinking here. Oh my God, G come here now! Come HERE NOW, leave the stupid party!” Then she immediately hangs up the phone. Without goodbyes, G immediately runs over to his car, starts the engine and leaves the dinner party.

A few minutes later: “Sushila, have you seen G? I asked him to go up and fetch you because it was almost dinner but he didn’t come down,” says Auntie Audrey to her daughter. Sushila took one canape from the tray carried around by the waiters and waitresses. They walk towards the dinner table. “What?” Sushila tells her. “G didn’t come and-” Sushila stops walking. Her mother, a few steps in front of her turns around and asks her, “Is there anything wrong dear? You don’t look so well…” Sushila shakes her head, “I’m…I’m just feeling a bit dizzy. I don’t think-I need to go to the bathroom mom. There’s a phone call that I need to make…” And like that, Sushila storms off to the toilet leaving her mother behind.

“Na?” says Sushila over the phone. “Na, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry Na. Terribly sorry… Thank you for answering the phone Na…I want you to know that I’m sooooo soooo sorry. I’m sorry…I know you heard what happened from G and I regret it. I’m sorry “

“Get out of my life.”

Sudirman a few days ago: It is pre-’Chanel Youth Art Exhibit’ week and the many hopeful artists were finalizing their artworks and designs while the hopeful performers were in stress thinking of the song that they would sing for the exhibition. For now though, they were all focused on what they should sing for the audition. To recall, the Chanel Contemporary Youth Art Exhibition marks the end of Fashion Week which eats up one whole week. Though the artists exhibiting their works have been selected a two weeks in advance, the auditions for the hopeful performer (one from each international and national plus school) doesn’t happen until the first day of Fashion Week. Up until that moment, Georgi had already chosen what she would sing for the audition and then for the Chanel Private Party. In fact, she had chosen her two songs, since she was in the 8th grade. But only students in the 11th and 12th grade were allowed to participate in the event. Her songs have been changed 50 times since the 8th grade. Back in the 8th grade, it was Pieces of Me by Ashlee Simpson. Now, for the audition, she decided to sing Mercy by Duffy. But on the day of the audition, a bomb was dropped.

It has been decided that todays audition for the Chanel Private Party would double as the auditions for the school’s annual spring play, Miyazaki’s Spirited Away. All grades are invited to audition but only 11th and 12th graders are allowed to audition for the Chanel Private Party. We encourage 11th and 12th graders to audition for both events. Regards, Mr. Gary Busey. 

“Spirited Away? Isn’t that the anime thing?” asks Georgi to Dania Simanjuntak, her best friend. The two were lining up in front of the music hall in which the auditions were being held. It was quite a long line and they were 10 meters from the door. It was almost Georgi’s turn.

“Yeah,” replies Dania. “The one with the Japanese girl, Chihiro, who gets lost in this spirit world where she becomes a slave at this bath house that belongs to this witch. She tries to get back to the human world and save her parents who’ve been turned into pigs. Totally awesome,” continues Dania. “Well then,” says Georgi. “Finally the school decides to do a more Asian based show in which I may become the lead. Now, after years of more middle-eastern, fun in the sun, brown skinned plays, finally we do an Asian one. Thank God. Now those Muslim musical prodigies taking film scoring in Berkley California will not be able to get the lead.” Dania laughs at this sarcastic remark.

“I guess that it would be best if you did. You are going to audition for Chanel anyway so of course they’ll give you both events. I mean the odds are that they’d give both spots to someone else would be one in a million. And it would take someone with Leona Lewis’ voice to rip the two spots from you Georgi.” Suddenly, a classmate auditioning for the play walked in front of Georgi. She was closer to the door than Georgi but went to her and said, “Oh my God Georgi, this new girl is singing and her voice is so amazing.” Immediately, Dania and Georgi run with the girl and stick their faces to the puny glass window on the doors. It was a Caucasian girl that has never been seen in school with fair brown hair that had amazing waves. She was tall with a healthy body posture. Eyes closed, hands together, mouth wide open she was singing Christina Augilera and was too singing her heart out. The song was Hurt. And in her heart, Georgi knew that this girl, was singing Hurt. With a capital H. Dania and the other girl looked in awe while Georgi, feeling deep inside her heart: this is competition.

Ringing in her head were the words: This is my mother-fucking competition.

“Change of plans Dania,” Georgi tells her as they wait back where they were in the line. “I’m doing Christina Aguilera too.” With a confused expression, Dania asked her, “Why? What song?”

“Beautiful,” replies Georgi. “This stupid Duffy song isn’t going to get me anywhere. I need something that’ll show my high notes and no Duffy song is ever gonna pull that shit off. Dania, I need your iPod, do you have Beautiful in it?” Agitated, Georgi kept snapping her fingers as Dania perused her bag to find her iPod. “I think I felt my iPod at home Georgi. I’m so sorry. Maybe someone in this line has their iPod.” Georgi gives a disapproving sound and like a mad man, asked everyone if she could borrow their iPod. It’s either they didn’t bring it, or they were using it or they did not have Christina Aguilera in it. After asking 20 something people, Georgi leaned back on the wall on her spot in the line and her turn was coming up. Out of disappointment she then sat on the floor and covered her face with her hands. Then she saw a shadow of someone standing in front of her. It was the tall girl with brown wavy hair who sang Christina’s Hurt song. “I heard you we’re looking for an iPod with Beautiful in it. Here,” she said handing over her iPod. “You can borrow mine. I’ve got it in my iPod.” Miserably, Georgi looks up like about to burst in tears and borrows her iPod. Adding to her kindness, the girl put out her hand; a gesture to help her get up. “My name’s Mikki. Mikki Saunders. I just transferred from England.” 

Georgi took her hand and said, “I’m Georgi. I heard you singing, you were great.”

“Thank you,” Mikki said. She smiled. Georgi gave her a fake, faint smile. “Mind if I eavesdrop on your audition? You seem to be very confident in singing Beautiful Georgi. You must have quite a voice.” At the end of that, a woman came out of the double doors to the music hall and called on for Georgi. “Fuck,” Georgi says under her breath. Having not been able to rehearse the song, Goergi went in and decided to wing it. It was either Christina and then the Chanel party and the lead in the play or Duffy then nothing. Georgi entered the hall. Gary, the school’s music director, Dennis, the play director and Vera, the marketing director of Time International (the Chanel retailer in Indonesia) were sitting in the hall. Georgi stepped on the stage. “What will you be singing today, Georgia?” asks Gary.

“I will be singing Beautiful by Christina Aguilera,” replies Georgi. Gary nods indicating for her to start.

Everyday is so wonderful
And suddenly it’s hard to breath
Now and then I get insecure
From all the pain
I’m so ashamed

Do I have friends you’re delirious…

“Oh my God I’m so sorry, I forgot the words,” says Georgi. “Uhm…may I sing another song?”

“Sure,” replies Gary.

I remember way back way back when
I said I never wanna see your face again
Cause you were lovin yes you were loving somebody else
And I knew oh yes i knew i couldn’t control myself

But I will never be your stepping stone
Take it all or leave me alone
I will nevr be your stepping stone
I’m standing upright on-

“That’s enough. Thank you,” Mr. Gary says. Georgi runs out, in tears and heads straight for the bathroom. On her way out she pushes the iPod back to Mikki and running behind her on her way to the toilet was Dania. “Goergi! Wait?! What happened?” shouted Dania from behind. Georgi kept running and did not reply. She reached the toilet first shut the door immediately and locked it from the inside. Dania reaches the door and tried to opened the door but was unable to open it. She knocked on it and called for Georgi. But Georgi leaned against the door and slugged down, crying, with her face buried within her hands. “Georgi, let me in now and tell me what happened!”

“No Dania…can you just leave me here for a while?” Then, Georgi says to herself in a soft faint whisper, “I’m defeated.”

Then the cast list for the play was posted two days later:

Spirited Away Spring Play (FEMALE CHARACTER LIST)

(MALE CHARACTER LIST TO BE ANNOUNCED NEXT WEEK)

“MOTHHHHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!” shouted Georgi when she saw the list.

Did you forget 
That I was even alive 
Did you forget 
Everything we ever had 
Did you forget 
Did you forget 
About me 

So now I guess 
This is where we 
have to stand 
Did you regret 
Ever holding my hand 
Never again 
Please don’t forget 
Don’t forget

Songs used:

Stepping Stone -Duffy

Stronger -Demi Lovato